I think I mis-heard the self-isolation instruction

3/27/2020

These are strange and deeply worrying times in which everything seems to be viewed with a different perspective. All our usual day to day worries and work priorities are completely irrelevant when people are dying and there's so much uncertainty in the world about when it might all be over.

The reaction to the situation seems to follow two routes; either it's the 'we're all doomed' response - you know the scene in the movie when the first one in the group being held at gunpoint by terrorists, or stuck in a boat being circled by dozens of Great Whites, or is holed up on the top floor of the towering inferno - cracks under pressure, starts screaming 'we're all doomed' and either gets shot, jumps off the boat or leaps out of the window. The alternative, which I like to think is the quintessentially stoic British attitude, is to simply make jokes about it.

Judging by the number of memes flying about on all the Whatsapp groups I'm in, many of which are hilarious, that seems to be the overriding approach, fortunately. How long this laughing in the face adversity approach lasts is anyone's guess, but let's enjoy it while we can.

I've been amusing myself [and I realise that's probably only myself] by posting a series on Linkedin which have built up into a little collection big enough to publish as a retrospective [again only I laughed]:

Number 1: I misheard the advice and self-tessellated.

Number 2: I got it wrong again and self-insulated.

Number 3. Then I self-illuminated.

Number 4. Still not sure I'm getting it right and self-insulted.

Number 5: Then I did one for the Java Developers and self-instantiated [no, I've no idea either].

Number 6. I decided it's all getting a bit silly and self-reprimanded.

Number 7. I decided to self-replicate, but then realised I'd made self-isolation 25 times harder.

Number 8. With the benefit of hindsight, I realised the decision to self-replicate was a poor one, so I self-duplicated instead to make self-isolation only twice the effort.

To be honest, if it's only me that finds this kind of nonsense amusing then I guess it's at least a form of self-therapy - brilliant, there's another one for tomorrow - plus I've got plenty of time on my hands. At least it staves off the moment until I eventually crack too and scream 'we're all doomed!' as my imac topples over and crushes me.

Author

Will Bentley